Columnist Gil Spencer, writing in the Delaware County Daily Times, imagines a scenario where Gov. Ed Rendell attends the most recent Harrisburg meeting of Problem-Gamblers Anonymous.

From Spencer's column:

ED: I hardly gamble at all. I mean, I’ll bet the governor of another state the occasional cheesesteak if the Phillies or Eagles are in the playoffs, but I don’t even actually shell out for that. It’s in my office budget.

HOST: So you gamble with other people’s money, you mean, not your own.

ED: That’s just a P.R. thing.

HOST: Whatever you say, Ed. It’s your mike.

ED: Look, I’m here to let every one of you know that the state of Pennsylvania and my administration cares about your issue, ‘er addiction, umm, problem. And that’s why we’re offering $5,000 grants to groups like this one all over the state to make sure that problem gamblers, like yourselves, get the funds and information they need to help battle their addictions.

ADDICT 1: What about your addiction — the state’s addiction — to gambling revenues?

ED: I wouldn’t call it an addiction.

ADDICT 2: What would you prefer? Dependence?

ED: I would prefer “policy choice.”

A1: That’s a good one. Maybe that’s what I should call my losing my house thanks to my gambling losses — my “policy choice.”

ED: You don’t understand, the state makes money from gambling. We don’t lose. We can’t lose.

A2: Then how come the state is $2.3 billion in debt? If I owed $2.3 billion, somebody, somewhere would be calling me a loser. A big one.

Read the full column at the newspaper's Web site.